Why Do I Feel Weird When I Come Home From College?
Written by Dr. Kristen Roman
Many college students are so excited to reach the end of the semester, to be free of studying and school obligations, that they don’t take a minute to anticipate what the transition will be like. For many it’s harder than they expected, and you may be thrown off by not feeling as good as you imagined when you return home. There are several reasons this transition can prove to be challenging:
1) Readjusting to living at home with parents: When you’re away at college, you have so much more freedom to come and go as you please and to spend your time how you want, without your parents observing you or giving input. Many young adults and their parents struggle to navigate how to adjust the “rules” previously relied upon in high school. While you’re living under their roof, you have to figure out a way to respect their wishes while also being allowed an appropriate level of independence. On top of this, many families also get along better not living under the same roof, so being around your parents or siblings 24/7 may be a breeding ground for conflict, including old recurring fights that resurface.
2) Going from a college environment, where you’re around your peers the majority of the time, to living at home can be a stark contrast: You might even find out that all of your friends from high school decided to stay on campus or go to another city for an internship, leaving you feeling lonely and bored. You might start to miss your life at school and the friends and opportunities for socializing you have there.
3) Lack of structure: Going from a full class schedule and extracurriculars to a less structured internship, babysitting gig, or maybe nothing planned at all for the summer, makes it really easy to start to feel down and anxious. We need routine and stimulating activities in order to feel our best and prevent depression and anxiety.
4) You may be surprised to realize the friendships you left to go off to school last summer may not be the same a year later: A year is a long time for people to evolve, especially during college when many people are still figuring out who they are and what matters most to them. You might be disappointed to learn your friends have changed in certain ways that don’t align with what you value, such as being more focused on partying or caring more about appearance than you do. Maybe your friends start to get more invested in their college friendships than their high school ones, which could leave you feeling left out or like second pick.
So it’s really no surprise that you might be feeling a little weird after returning home from college for the summer. If you’re struggling with any of this, our therapists at Elevate CBT specialize in therapy for young adults would love to talk with you about how they can help. Our therapists have helped many young adults have a better summer by giving them tools for navigating disagreements with parents and helping them establish routine and structure, engage in activities that matter to them, and figure out how to have a satisfying social life while at home. Contact Us today with any questions you may be having or Click Here to set up your free 15 minute consultation.