What To Do If You Wake Up From A Nightmare: Ideas From A Trauma Therapist
Written by Dr. Kristen Roman
If you’ve experienced a nightmare before, you know how awful it can feel to wake up with your heart pounding out of your chest, feeling short of breath, like you can’t breathe. Whether it was a nightmare in which you’re reliving a traumatic event that happened to you, or some other kind of scary theme which leaves you rattled upon waking up, these nighttime disruptions can leave you exhausted the next day and make you start to fear going to bed.
What’s likely happening is that you’re waking up with your fight or flight response having kicked in, which is the natural biological response in your body that is designed to help protect you when encountering a threat. However, sometimes the fight or flight response kicks in when there is no actual threat, such as something like a nightmare, which is incredibly unpleasant but can’t actually hurt you. Many of our trauma therapy clients will ask for guidance on what to do if you wake up in this state. Below are some ideas to consider.
1) Start by grounding yourself in the present moment to help your brain catch up to the fact that you’re in a safe space, not in the threatening space that you were in in the nightmare or your past trauma. Mindfulness practice is a great way to ground yourself. Some specific practices you can try:
“See 3 things, hear 3 things, feel 3 things”-- move through your senses one at a time, starting with identifying and noticing 3 things you can see with your eyes in the space around you (e.g., the glow of the light coming from your clock, the color of the blanket on top of you). Then moving onto identifying and noticing 3 things you can hear with your ears (e.g., the hum of your air conditioner, the sound of your partner breathing next to you), and finally, 3 things you can feel with your sense of touch (e.g., the feeling of the blanket resting on top of you, the coldness of your pillow case). This practice helps you anchor yourself in your surroundings and therefore brings you into the present moment.
Ground yourself in feeling the bed beneath you-- the mattress and pillow holding up your body, the weight of the blankets covering you. Or if you’ve sat up, you can put your feet on the ground and notice the sensation of your feet touching the floor.
2) Try and embrace the uncomfortable feelings, rather than doing anything frantic to suppress them or get rid of them, which can often just make the feelings worse. Remind yourself that the feelings are scary but not dangerous, and that they won’t last forever.
It’s worth noting that nightmares can be a sign of possible post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Nightmares, as well as unwanted traumatic memories coming into your mind during the day, are often a sign that the traumatic event you experienced is “unfinished business” and has not been fully processed. The good news is, there is hope for this getting better with the right kind of therapy. Seeking trauma therapy with a specialized trauma therapist can help bring you relief from PTSD symptoms, including nightmares. You don’t have to suffer alone. If you’re interested in learning more, Contact Us with any questions or Click Here to set up a free 15 minute consultation with one of our experienced trauma therapists. You can also visit our Trauma Therapy page to learn more about the types of therapy for trauma we offer.